if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
