Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
