I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
