Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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