69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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