whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
