Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
