What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
