so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
