You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Let's get the cat blown out
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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