i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
false alarm, still single
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
