If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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