I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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