There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
