I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
In America we eat man semen.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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