So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
