My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
