oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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