Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
