Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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