I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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