well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
