I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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