Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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