i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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