508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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