And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
