VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
