maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
