I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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