I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
