I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
