Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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