when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
