I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
