Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
