piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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