You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
