I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
