i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
bring money and cleavage
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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