everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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