It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
