this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
