so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
