just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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