I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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