I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
