when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My penis needs a shock collar
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
