Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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