why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
