am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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